Same day as yesterday... same things, same shitty stink!
The slight but significative difference was concentrated mainly in the early morning. Faby and Patty picked me up at the bus stop and went together to the stinky job! We had breakfast like in ''the ol' days''. And there's a mix of rage and happiness for this. Rage because we have no love for this job and Happiness because we have each other. But you know what I hate the most? The fact that the happiness doesn't overwhelm me as it should... I'm not taken from the happiness of being loved by those special persons. Of course I'm thankful and consoled by this but I still have that Rage inside of me that makes me say: "It would have been perfect if we were still at the airport!". The neverending fight between the Good and evil.
And for this I hate myself! I don't want the evil inside of me.
I preach forgiveness and positive thoughts, love and joy for everybody but I'm not a good example! And this frustrates me... makes me feel so small and useless... It's all about faith in Holy God... it's all about offering Him our burdens... it's all about knowing everything has a solution. It's about no projects and no desires... it's about recognize that everything is in His hands...It's about receiving His unconditional fatherly Love. And yet, it's so difficult!
To share: (sher) 1)communicate 2)give out as one's portion or share 3)have, give, or receive a share of 4)use jointly or in common 5)have in common -vt. shared, shar'ing 1-to distribute in share 2-to receive, use, etc. in common with others
2 comments:
Hi:) I enjoy reading your blog, and I love the pictures of your cat. I have a lot of the same feelings you have, about wanting to experience happiness and joy more than sadness, but sometimes it is so hard. I think God brought me to your blog. Check mine out if you'd like. God bless!
Ciao Annette, glad not to be alone in this 'mood'... I'll check your blog soon. Thanks.. have a great day!
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