Contour line.

So now.... I keep on logging in to my blog, wanting to write something but I often find my head empty like if none of my thoughts are ready to get fixed on the 'paper'.
I always pictured me and my life as a contour-line in shape of my body and inside all different colours and nuances all mixed together... all the colours enters throught the senses... through my nose, eyes, hears, touch and taste and then my mind elaborates them and give them a place into the contour.
There are periods in my life in which the disorders reigns... all colours floats around not knowing where to go and what kind of pictures they will represent, and the disorder is not a bad thing because it means there's a lot of ferment inside. It means there are a lot of experiences and thoughts and feelings inside.
But after a while there's this need in me, this urge to give a sense to all this colourful 'thing' and so I take my time to rearrange everything and give a sense to all .... so that the colours can go and draw the pictures I'd like. It's like a puzzle.

In those days I'm in the middle of this big caos thing... it's like an house after you moved. All boxes open with different items in it... and even if you wrote the contained on every boxes you don't know exactly every item is in it.
I am into the 'elaborating' period....
I think I'm living a crucial moment of my life and I'm selecting friends, emotions, 'meanings' and feelings and it will mean a lot for my future.

I feel very lucky. I feel full of colours. I feel full of hope.
I'm blessed because I have special persons around me. I'm blessed because I had special friends around me. I'm blessed because I have a family...a crazy one but still a sort of family. I'm blessed because I have Andrea, I'm blessed because I have faith, I'm blessed because I'm sensitive, because I have a roof on my head and because I don't live in a country of war....

So now, even if I know I have to prepare a lot of things for the wedding and even if I'd like to invite millions of people and I can't do it... even if we should book for the honeymoon and even if I have to know how to do with my garden and with Monocolo while I'll be out... all those things added together makes me tired.
Meanwhile... there's also a part of my worries headed toward my job situation. The contracts ends on september 30th and while in my honeymoon I'll call the job to know if I'll have to go back to work or if I will stay jobless again... and if I'll be jobless then I'll stay on my honeymoon for some more days.

Tomorrow there will be a birthday party here at my house... we organize a surprise party for Silvia... but my digital camera is broken and won't be able to post any pictures:-(

Update of the update!

.... it's a long time I don't write in here... but it looks like I don't have any spare time.
By the way, what's up? Well as you all know Italy won the World Soccer Cup and I ensure you that this is not a minor issue. Here the whole Nation stopped for a couple of days and flags and parties were all around! It has been fun. Wish I had my digital camera with but... it just broke down and doesn't work at all. I took some pictures with my Nikon but I never find the time to develop the films. I hope to post some picture soon.

Then what? Andrea jumped with the parachute. His friend and best man paid for him a tandem-jump with the parachute. He always wished to do that and now he did it. He was super happy! Should have some pictures of this event too.

I had a nice time with Ester...we had a greek pita in the city center and talked on a bench for a couple of hours and then we enjoyed a good caffè at Terzi Café.

A couple of friends came with me to search for the wedding shoes. It has been fun being girlish for a whole day.... I now have wonderful shoes to wear on september 14th.

I had another wed-dress-try and I may have realized that it will be my wedding dress...meaning that I'm really getting married.

Yesterday Andrea and I enjoyed Pier Luigi (the Priest who'll marry us) for a short talk and were happy about that.

I'm still tired tired tired.

As to close this post.... I am tired but happy, happy, happy, happy... happy to have friends like those I have, happy to have special persons close to me and to have a super-husband-to-be.
I am happy. And I think this is cool!

Short update!

So now... where we've been up to?... Last week I went to Rome to try the wedding dress but there was only a lining of the dress and the trip was pretty much useless. The shop assistant showed me the most beautiful shoes I can wear under that dress but they were so expensive, I thought I can find something less beautiful but less expensive... by the way I'll probably never wear that white shoes again.
Then what? I came back to Bologna on Tuesday, worked Wednesday and Thursday, then back to Rome with Andrea and Monocolo... ready to attend Ary's wedding on Saturday.
Lots of weird feelings involved in this short 3 days vacation.
On Friday Claudia, Arianna and I all went to the hair-stylist...the same one who cut our hair since age 13...and it was weird to see all of us there again: older, different haircut... different colours...
...then the football game: Italy - Ukraina at Buko's. Lots of friends together enjoying the game. Party in the streets. Saturday was the wedding day. Stretchlimo, wedding dress, beautiful make-up, white cow-boy boots, me dressed up like a woman, dad showing Rome around and being fun for everybody, swimming pool... lots of faces... loved and less loved ones... music, food, Rome, good and bad friends, Andrea and I in love... happiness and gloom, fireworks, Bulgari's wedding rings and other diamonds ring into the champagne (to the bride).... lots of things in me.
Then back to Bologna. Back to my loved work...but tired. I realized I have to do a lot of things for the wedding. Need to print the invitation, do the bomboniere, talk to the flowerist, meet the priest some times, study for the honeymoon.
Meanwhile, my Fiat 500 (the car) is not alive anymore, it has been sqeezed in a bunch of metal thing. I took all my things out of that small car and I felt sad about it. Now I am really on my bike. Need to do a lot of errands and sounds like I always need some major mean of transportation... but I'll do it.
Italy-Germany was the match of the year... it has been great and we are all crazy for it. You should see the next day working for a Lufthansa flight, with the Captain shouting out of the cockpit window:'Vive la France'... and the workers wearing Italian flags.:-)

Then what?... nothing more, except that I really feel tired and need to rest but I have no spare time. Today is dentist day...ouch! ...and it rains.
Sunday (the final WorldCup game) I'll work from 4pm to midnight meaning I won't watch the game with my friends... the my parents and brother will come to visit for one night the 10th, then I'll leave to Rome on the 12th for another dress try... then.. will see next.