That's enough!

It's true... I need money, but I can't go on like this.
Today I'm really pissed off. (sorry).
I went to the stinky job (I'm going there only 3 days a week for 5 hours each time) and during the 10 minutes break I talked to 'Desperate-Collegue' and he told me that today was his last day. I congratulated 'cause maybe he found something better but NO! NO! He did not found another job... he has been... let's say.... FIRED! Fired it's not the proper word because the work contracts are tricks. They cannot fire us because the contracts we all signed identify us like free lance, so they only wait our contracts to expire and then they (let's say) let you go! Ops... of course they told Desperate-collegue about this 3 days ago.
So the clue for this last news is that next week are going to be the last 3 days at work at the stinky job and hoops, I'm going to tell them I'll quit right the last day of work.
It won't change anything since another desperate will be there to take my place right the very next day. But at least I won't feel such a slave!
On the other side I'll be poorer... but it doesn't change much... from poor to poorer it's not a great change.

P.S. Still have to talk to Andrea about this but... I'm sure he'll volunteer for extra hours at work:-)

Gotta go to the swimming-pool... I like this job:-)

Springtime?

Primule
Originally uploaded by margiana.

Yesterday was really a spring day. It was brisk, but the sun was shining and everything started looking great. I love those days in which is great to work in the garden...
But then, in the afternoon it all turned grey and winter came again... and today is raining hard.
But I'm not in a too-bad-mood... I can see a sort of light at the end. Hope I'm not dreaming up.

Acceptance

"Acceptance is like knowing there will be ants at the picnic. It is acknowledgment that there are needs and circumstances other than your own. By making this acknoledgment you are empowered to develop a strategy for your protection without stepping on the needs of others. Without the emotional charge of anger, fear, and victimization, it is easy to accept the reality of your life. By accepting what is, you become keenly aware of what isn't. When you know what isn't, you can begin to determine what you must do. Acceptance also requires a great deal of trust, and even more patience. You must trust yourself enough to know that you will make the right choices. You must trust that the universe will provide you with every single thing you need in order to accomplish what you set out to do. You must accept that what you want to do may not be an easy task which means you must be patient with yourself. Be patient when you get angry or afraid. Be patient when you are tempted to lie to yourself and not accept the truth. Be patient when it seems things are not going the right and may never be right again. Accept that what is yours will come to you in the right way at just the right moment. Patiently acknowledge and accept that what is not for you is not for you, no matter what you choose to tell yourself. Ants do not get discouraged when they climb onto the picnic table, only to discover that all your goodies are covered with aluminum foil. They crawl back down and patiently wait around the table legs until you drop your plate." One Day My Soul Just Opened Up - Iyanla Vanzant

Modern slaves

I know a lot of you are not into the italian political situation... but you read a little of what it is happening in Italy through my jobless story... so, just to show you I'm not the only jobless freak I leave you this to read Modern slaves. In the italian version I also posted a comment last night and now there are more than 800.
I'm seriously worried about the elections.
Gotta run to the stinky place and work for 5.30 € per hour with a Co. Co. Pro contract.

It's raining!

Not in a good mood.
-It is raining.
-I received the salary at the stinky job and it is almost sufficient only to buy a parfume for the s
Stinky Guy.
-I got home and found an IKEA letter in the box... telling me that I am not what they're looking for.
-I need to iron a mountain of clothes....

The only good thing for today is that the first crocus of the season is born!

Munich

Last Saturday we enjoyed a little relaxation. I prepared the garden for the springtime works while Andrea was repairing some of the million things that still have to be fixed in our small nest. In the afternoon we went to a café for a cappuccino and shared some quality time together.. then we decided that it is really too long we don't have dinner in a restaurant .. so we went to a pizzeria. We also bought tickets for Munich the last Spielger's movie.
It must be this period of my life that brings me tears so often but I was pretty much shaked by the movie. I knew what the movie was going to be about and the whole story.
It's not the plot or the settings that touched me but the human aspect of all this.
I still am not able to understand that kind of hate between races and religions. Not at this extreme. But all it has happened in the last 40-something years, and that is happening now and will probably happen for more years to come, brings me there. It is not only possible to hate because of races and religions but it is basic for the survival of the national identity and for the concept of one's coutry.
I may not be cultural and historically prepared to analyse those issues but the thing that brings me down is that nothing has changed in the fight between Palestinian and Jews. Looks like there is no hope.
I once read an interesting book about it The Best of Enemies , that I suggest to anyone interested in the topic. At the end there was a trace of hope for peace.
That was before the Second Intifada.

Postcards around the world....

Hey hey...Postcrossing is working... My postcard arrived in Finland in 2 days... Wow, I shouldn't complain about the italian post service Poste !! I'm only looking forward to receive one. It is soooo cool to get mail in the mailbox too:-) Try it!

Social Security

Just came back from the Social Security Office to apply for the unemployment benefit.
It is an experience! It is an experience to enter in the tall building, ask for information and receive always half of it! - "Go to the 4th floor and then ask." - "Thank you sir."
Step up until the 4th floor and then take the number and wait for your turn. I entered there at 10 and got out at 13. Meanwhile I had a look around. Most of my unemployed collegues where foreigners who did not know what to do. Nobody speaks their languages... most of them where from North Africa, Philippines and China. The only office-employee did speak an heavy slang from Naples. So there it is the global village where we started all speaking our own languages and trying to help each other out to understand how we had to fill the tons of forms needed to get the benefit. It is so incredible how we can all understand each other once in need. I was speaking italian and a very elementary french with a Moroccan Lady who needed help to fill the form for the maternity benefit and I also understand a Philippine guy who was trying to get his unemployment benefit since he was laid off from the cleaning company that works in the Fair District. By the way, in that place there were no differences.... teachers, shop-girls, office-workers, ramp-agent, cleaners, carpenters... no matter where we are from... no matter the colour or race or differences of histories and social extraction, we were the same... unemployed.
At the very end: I spent 3 hours of my life in an office crowded of unemployed people, feeling good for the help gave and received but depressed for the circumstance.
Then once back home I switched on the TV to watch the news (I'm trying to quit this habit and will succeed soon) and find the horrible, disgusting face of the italian number one ass Mr Berlusconi and some of his staff telling me that Italy has never been so rich than now and that the unemployment rate is very low....
And the sick thing is that people will vote for him.
I'm disgusted.

You know what? I'll go to the hair stylist to give a shape to my head... it's almost I year I don't go!!

Let's get married!

S. Francesca Romana
Originally uploaded by margiana.

We came back this morning at 2.00am from Rome, after a busy week end. We walked around Rome as tourists but... with a specific aim: looking for a church where to get married. After visiting several beautiful churches, dead tired of walking around we arrived at the roman forum from the Via Sacra -an original piece of ancient roman road that goes from the Colosseum to the roman forum- and there it was Santa Francesca Romana, the church in the picture. The view is breathtaking and the symbolism is absolute.
Everything was pointing out at the church.... inside it's not what we wanted, it's pretty dark and 'rich' but I think the location is right for 'our' special day.
I've never thought I would have cared about those things but...the 'roman pride' overwhelmed me, and the thought of a Symbol for our 'history' obsessed me in those days.
We fixed the date: September 14th.
We talked to the Benedictine who had the 'wedding calendar' and he inspired us a lot.
We are totally happy and excited and fearful and serene, and confused and a mix of millions of feelings.
Just wanted to share it.

Darth Vader....Sirman

Darth Vader6
Originally uploaded by margiana.

Here's a new friend of ours. Last night we had dinner at Giorgio (Andrea's brother) and they all gave Andrea one of his long awaited perfect present! A milk shaker. And I love it because it is used and it looks it has experienced the world! I really like the brand sign...
But the most delicious thing is the milk foam that comes out of it. It is perfect to start the day and look at it like a fluffy, pure, white cloud...yummiiii

We call it Darth Vader (from the helmet shape of it) and everytime we enter in the kitchen we sing ....da da dada da dada da dada Star Wars song.

Your personality is....

I like those tests because they feed my ego with 'ideals':-)
Hey... IKEA just called me for a selection on feb 7th . You know for what kind of position? Customer care!
If I win the selection the other problem will be: how to stay calm! I HATE CUSTOMERS, I HATE TRAVEL AGENCY CLIENTS, HATE PASSENGERS, and everything related to arrogant people who WANT U to be their servant and to tell them :'yes sir, you're right'!!!!
ooops... I'm sorry, didn't want to say all those horrible true things... by the way I'm a passionate, caring and unique person and expecially: 'the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.'... yes sure....

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Let's try new things

I took this blogthing from Annette and found it cool:-)
It's cool the way those things describe me as a great person! Ups...maybe I am a great person:-)

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

You give me fever!

I'm sick, got a little fever, have my troat on fire and my lungs aches... but I'M HAPPY!!!
I'm happy because I'm not going to work in the stinky job. Well...I know they won't pay me today but the count from the losses and gains is always on my favour.
Yesterday, out of the stinky job, I had a long walk downtown. The weather was great (like today) and warm and the sun made everything look beautiful. I have been eating my hands because I forgot my camera home but, unfortunately, when I go to the stinky job, all my energies are focused on trying-to-be-positive-and-thankful-for-what-I-have-and-do-not-complain-too-much-effort. But it would have been great to have my camera with. The 'springtime' light was great in a winter Bologna. And the anti-pollution law that prohibits car-traffic on thursdays made me appreciate the city more.
I also stopped at my favourite bar Caffè Terzi to sip my beloved vanilla cappuccino.
It is a small bar in a quite corner of the city centre, far from the traffic and the noise. The environment is pretty much upper class at a first glance but the think that I love the most is the 'ballet' that the bartender and the bar-master do around all the pastries and the different coffee and tea blends.
There is this guy Manuel Terzi (the Master) who buys and personally mix the coffe and answers to all your questions. I like the fact that under all the formality of the place, you can breath the love this man has for something...in specific for the coffe.
I can imagine him going far away, in Brazil, or in other South American Countries, meeting the owners of big coffe plantations and choose personally the coffe he wants... then, once back home name each coffe he choose and mix it and then cook those espressos for people who usually don't know anything about coffe but to whom he gives something... he is always ready to give you answers about this or that coffe...about why it is better to taste this kind of coffe with this chocolate or not.
I like the artsy effect of it all. I sip my cappuccino on a high stool table in a corner of the bar and watch all those notaries, lawyers, bankers or high class women enter and drink quickly their espresso. And this Manuel Terzi is almost offended by the lack of care they have toward this product. But his eyes sparkle when somebody ask him about a special blend and such... he is happy, you can see it from the way he moves around the coffe machine... he keep on telling where this blend is from and....... on and on and on.
It's so beautiful to see people happy.

Happy B-day Andrea

Andrea's Saint-Honoré1
Originally uploaded by margiana.

Yesterday has been Andrea's b-day. Our friends organized a surprise dinner. I only had to say to Andrea that I was too tired and sick to cook a special dinner for him and wanted to order a pizza. He was a little disappointed but tired and sick... so he simply agreed. I pretended to dial the number of the pizza place and ordered the pizzas but actually I was calling my friend to tell them we were ready for dinner. One the door bell rang, Andrea opened expecting the pizza guy but.... there they were.. Patty, Matteo, Fabi and 'Il Claud' with pans and pots for us. Andrea was HAPPY. Passing from the semi-depression state to the happiness made him more happy.
We ate like pigs...(like always though). Fabiola cooked her Fab-lasagne and her super Fab-focaccine. And...last but not least Patty brought a special cake with a picture of Andrea I once gave her. Andrea had a cheerful and joyful b-day party!