26 January 2009

Meeting someone...


Feet
Originally uploaded by margiana.

When I came out of the Operating Room where I was singing Abba's Mamma Mia and The Power of Love -Frankie goes to Hollywood- (that was on while they were giving me the c-section), I saw Andrea waiting for me outside and then the little Gilda. Andrea gave me the baby and put it in bed with me while they were moving us to the room.
I saw Gilda and no matter how I imagined her during the 9 months... or the expectation I had... I felt like I was meeting a new person.
"New" not in the meaning of newborn but of an unknown person. Just like if I just met someone in the street and we shaked hands and said "Hi, I'm Germana, pleased to meet you!".
I didn't feel like "you are mine"... she looked at me with those 'ancient' eyes... misted eyes who have already seen... wrinkled hands who have already touched and lived feet which have already walked thousands of miles.
I had this feeling of meeting an old-brand-new person. She was there saying... "hey I am already a woman... only small!", she already KNEW!
I hug her to remind her I need her to learn something new of life everyday. I kiss her to make her feel my closeness. I cuddle her to let her feel my affection.
But still she's already a human being by herself. Not self sufficient yet... but very separated.

20 January 2009

Changing Rhythm

I don't know if I'll be able to avoid the transformation of this blog into a baby-facts-report.
At this very moment my brain is occupied only by diapers, baby-baths, baby colics, nursing and baby clothes...
The only other thing that fits in it is the Inauguration of Barack Obama as US President.
Within a feeding time and another I am reading a book about how to "Carry" babies... how do different cultures carry their babies... in baby slings or cradles or such.
Meanwhile Gilda is with me in a baby sling... and she's enjoying it so far.
I am content... sleepless but content.

13 January 2009

Peace


Peace
Originally uploaded by margiana.

I must say that peace is not so far away.... my mind is totally absorbed by this little human being that gives my spirit, soul and body everything I need.
I can't stop to look at her, talk to her, touch her and relate to her during the whole day and night.
I look at Andrea and still can't believe Gilda is the "product" of our love. She's too perfect!
Of course I am her mother and thus I found her perfect... I know she's probably not...but her smell, her sounds are synphony to my senses.
I don't know if I will ever wake up from this spell... for now I feel totally dull.
The love for Andrea is spreading out like an oil stain. Together we are attending this new adventure that is bringing so much joy.
I know there won't be only joys but for now I keep on staring those perfect lips, hands, fingers, skin, hair, eyes, feet....... non-stop!