Week 20th!

I can now start the countdown. I am getting into the 20th week of pregnancy and can think in terms of weeks left.
I feel like I have been pregnant for a whole year until now... but I hope I'm going downhill from now. I really hope!

I'm growing...

I'm growing...
Originally uploaded by margiana.

I didn't want to upload this picture because it's an horrible picture, then I had to admit that it is not the picture itself but the subject!

I'm growing! Growing larger and bigger, older for sure and maybe also growing a little more in spirit.
Despite the regression of the first 3 months I now feel a certain spurt.
In the first months I was really feeling just a weird Thing... a sort of wrapping for "Something" I wasn't able to see or feel or even imagine. I was into the hormonal storm and that made me feel awful. I couldn't read, listen to music, go outside freely... it wasn't me anymore.
Now... it's still not me. And I think that so it will be for the rest of my life. It will be another me. For now it's a bigger me: bigger boops, belly, emotions, tears, feet and such.
I feel my heart is getting bigger because I am sure there will be a lot to put in soon.
But I saw the little baby and can feel it without thinking I have a little alien in my belly, and that makes things a little different.

I had the amniocentesis on the 15th of July and will get results on the 11th of August, when other than knowing if our baby is ok chromosome speaking, we'll also know the sex.
My mom come over to Bologna to help (since I had to rest for a couple of days). She made me so much Shiatzu massage that now that she's gone I'm missing her and her hand deadly. She's really spoiling me. The fridge is full of food that we'll eat without cooking for the next week.

So now I should read all those books and magazines about babies but I am not ready yet and makes me feel sick. For now I am devour the weekly newsmagazine Internazionale.. and some other political booklets... hoping the baby will come out a sort of revolutionary in this weird world... but since sons are always totally different from parents he/she will probably became a slaves of this sick system... of course I try to do my best not to! :-)
So now I go reading an article about the dying bees all over the world!
Sorry for the picture but some of you may want to be updated!

An Ok day!

Here I am, back in Bologna!
Back home! And today I am feeling good. I am almost scared to say it but at the end I'd love to scream it loud: I AM DOING GOOD TODAY!!!!

Today I had a lot of energy... if I had up the energies of every single days of those last 17 weeks probably I won't reach the level of today... that makes me feel happy!
I don't know if it will last also tomorrow and I decided to seize the day and do what I can in every moment... then, when I'll be exhausted I rest.

And today I woke up early, watered the backyard, cut the fence in the frontyard, cleaned the house, ironed a pile of clothes in the backyard, cooked for lunch, actually ATE lunch, slept, had a snack... I repeat had a snack, talked to Sarah on Skype and now I am cooking again for dinner.

It may sound weird from me... but the accent I put on food and on the fact that I am eating is because I am never hungry... and for those who know me it's really really weird.

That's all for today... the lesson is "One thing at the time" so here I am enjoying today!

It's not the Caribbean but....

Me waiting for a fruit juice!
Originally uploaded by margiana.

Ok so now... I am still fighting with stomach problems but no more vomiting. I know that those kind of details are of no interests for all... but just in case you want to know how I am feeling.
Other than this, 2 nights ago I spent the night with the eyes totally open, no way to sleep... headache and stomachache were killing me so that at 6.30 I put the swimsuit and decided to go to the beach. My mom wanted to join me and we had a beautiful walk on the seashore early in the morning. It was only us, a bunch of old persons and the jogging freaks.... enjoying the beautiful calm and clean sea of the morning. We walked for an hour and ended up to have breakfast to a small bar on the beach.
I still was in pain phisically but at least my head was empty of thoughts... the backwash took them away and cleaned my synapsis.
The pictures doesn't give me justice... I am not so fat!!!!!
But I enjoyed the best fruit juice of the last 4 months, maybe because it was the first I drank in the last 4 months :-)