I'm growing...
Originally uploaded by margiana.
I didn't want to upload this picture because it's an horrible picture, then I had to admit that it is not the picture itself but the subject!
I'm growing! Growing larger and bigger, older for sure and maybe also growing a little more in spirit.
Despite the regression of the first 3 months I now feel a certain spurt.
In the first months I was really feeling just a weird Thing... a sort of wrapping for "Something" I wasn't able to see or feel or even imagine. I was into the hormonal storm and that made me feel awful. I couldn't read, listen to music, go outside freely... it wasn't me anymore.
Now... it's still not me. And I think that so it will be for the rest of my life. It will be another me. For now it's a bigger me: bigger boops, belly, emotions, tears, feet and such.
I feel my heart is getting bigger because I am sure there will be a lot to put in soon.
But I saw the little baby and can feel it without thinking I have a little alien in my belly, and that makes things a little different.
I had the amniocentesis on the 15th of July and will get results on the 11th of August, when other than knowing if our baby is ok chromosome speaking, we'll also know the sex.
My mom come over to Bologna to help (since I had to rest for a couple of days). She made me so much Shiatzu massage that now that she's gone I'm missing her and her hand deadly. She's really spoiling me. The fridge is full of food that we'll eat without cooking for the next week.
So now I should read all those books and magazines about babies but I am not ready yet and makes me feel sick. For now I am devour the weekly newsmagazine Internazionale.. and some other political booklets... hoping the baby will come out a sort of revolutionary in this weird world... but since sons are always totally different from parents he/she will probably became a slaves of this sick system... of course I try to do my best not to! :-)
So now I go reading an article about the dying bees all over the world!
Sorry for the picture but some of you may want to be updated!
3 comments:
It is not a horrible picture! You look happy and healthy and your garden is a beautiful backdrop.
I am looking happy and healthy but I am a good actress Sarah! The mown in that garden got "burned" by the hot sun and won't get back green I guess :-(
Sorry not a good day!
That's too bad about your lawn--but I'm sure the bright flowers will draw the eye to other parts of your garden!
(The grass here gets too much rain and has to be mowed FAR too often.)
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