Beautiful wedding!

Brindisi
Originally uploaded by margiana.

Last Sunday Andrea and I attended Sandro and Rita wedding!
It has been a very touching ceremony. The priest said beautiful things. He said he had to give them a bad news: It is hard, very hard! And the whole mass was based upon this concept. It is hard to bring on a relationship... but as soon as we commit to our beloved and are willing to communicate and exchange and share a whole life with him/her, than things are beautiful. Well, there are thousands of things he said that I am not able to reproduce here as he did. But I cried and laugh loud several times. It has been really inspiring!
Then we went to a beautiful villa for the lunch... and later had the cake in the garden. The day was gorgeous and everything went up fine. I was so happy for them.
As for me... well, tomorrow Andrea and I are gonna 'promise our marriage' in the city hall. This is nothing of a special importance but I feel excited!

Post-Easter effects

Last week was a busy week, working early shift at the airport, going to the free-trial-gym and working in the afternoon at the pool and maintain a family armony and a almost clean house. Wow girl, it is hard! And I don't have children. I don't know if I want to figuire it out!
By the way, the last 3 days have been really crazy. Saturday after the work (finished at 10.15am) Andrea and I went shopping, to search for a small weird tool we need to fix the shower-box that is still broken. And we were around until 5pm.... without finding the tool.
Back home I started cooking and finished the pastiera napoletana around 11pm. Went to bed for 5 hours and on Sunday went to work. Once back home I prepared the table and finished cooking. At 1pm Patrizia and Fabiola came over and brought their wonderful dishes. We had a nice and good dinner together, all far from each other's family but yet a family. I love those feelings.
Then my brother and his girlfriend arrived for a short visit and stayed until Monday afternoon. On Monday we had a walk in the city centre and enjoyed the empty city.

Those are the good feelings.... but of course there are some bad too.
I invited Arianna and Claudia and partners over for Easter dinner and they did not said if they were coming or not until Saturday afternoon... and the excuse was they were going to have a bbq somewhere over the hills. Then on Sunday they had a lunch at Arianna's saying they did not want to go out anymore. I just let you notice, she's my nextdoor neighbor. And that is silly, and I don't like silly things.
Last thing, I got into an argument with Silvia (my brother's girlfriend) about her being vegan... so after all I felt sorry because I saw her and my brother hurt by my words, and also felt frustrated because I did not accomplish anything if not putting walls around me.
In all those things I lost the sense of Easter, I did not concentrate enough on the real meaning and the real symbolism of it. So I feel even more frustrated.
Hope the week will be better.

Ch- Ch- Ch- Change!

The Unione won the italian election. I'm happy for it even if I'm disappointed by the short distance victory. I thought Italy was really tired of the Bug-Berlusconi... but it's not like this.
I'm happy though.
I hope and pray that l'Unione will be able to govern for longtime. I only hope they will understand that Italy is a country split in 2... and this is a matter of fact that cannot be ignored.

Election day

...today and tomorrow is election day here in Italy... and I'm really praying some change will happen. Think of us.
Tomorrow another demonstration of workers 10am-12.30. Let's see what will happen.:-)

Demostration of workers

I'm sorry to bring on the social-political arguments but, I think there are some points to think about lately.
Today there was a demonstration of workers at the airport from 8 to 11am. I work at 3pm so I went. The demonstration is a protest against Aviapartner, one of the 3 handling companies in the Bologna airport, that will close it's office here in Bologna leaving jobless some 70 workers: check-in agents, weight and balance agents, ramp agents and loading teams. The offices will be closed in days and still nobody knows where those 70 people will go.
Now the thing is that the Airlines they give service to will keep on fly from and to Bologna Airport, so that somebody will have to give services to them. Aviapartner serves KLM, Airfrance, Malev, Spanair and other charter airlines... meaning a good slice of the traffic in this airport. At today we still don't know if Marconi Handling (the one I work for) or Bas (the other handling companies in the airport) will gain those airlines meaning they will also need more employees to give the right services = they will hire those 70 jobless left home by Aviapartner.
So we protested with slogans, whistles and billboards. We were not more than a hundred and we were allowed only to protest and not stop flights or such... we just wanted to inform passengers and public opinion of what it's happening in the airport.
Usually passengers complain about long lines, lost baggages, poor services and delays, but sounds like they don't know that if there are only 2 check-in agents to check-in 200 passengers in 2 hours, and if passengers arrive 1 hour prior departure, it is really difficult that the flight will be able to leave in perfect time and that all baggages (that have to go throught the security checks and x-ray and then sorted out over different carts and then all the way to the aircraft and loaded over it) will get into the right aircraft. It is stupid to think that everything can work perfectly with few workers doing the job of a lot others left home.
So I was distributing leaflets to the passengers standing in line for the Airfrance check-in with a big smile, trying to explain our presence there. We were not stopping the check-in... we were just shouting slogans... when a woman crumpled up the leaflets I just gave her and throw it to me shouting that I had to go clean my ass with it... and that she has been waiting 3 years for this flight and that I am an asshole who is disturbing her vacation. Of course I was shaken but I calmly replied her that it was more than 3 years that I do not take a vacation and that I was simply trying to let her know what it is happening to 70 persons who have families and will be jobless in some days... and then the tension rised and other collegues started yelling at her and she yelling at them and a big caos came out of it... I just tried to tell her I wanted her solidarity and that being jobless it's nothing to wish for and that we were there protesting for a future better service for her and other passengers but she replied I have to go to manure a field because this is the only thing that parassites like us are worth for.
I did not replied except for 'I wish you miss your vacation for other 3 years' phrase that skipped out loud from my month.
Now the thing is: I am not in the 70 who will be jobless in days and some of them will probably be hired by Marconi handling meaning that, since I still have a short term contract, I may be left home at the end of my contract because they will take 'my place' and those of other 40some seasonal workers like me. But I was there protesting because I think that it is my duty to do so... because I know what it is to be jobless and because nobody should suffer this condition.
I give simpathy to those who have less and I wish I could protest against unequity more often.
But I tell you... that lady yelling at me and looking at me like if I was a shit really hurted me. It is so unbelievable to me to understand that people around me does not shows any solidarity to us but wish for us the worst.
After the intervention of the police and other verbal accuses flying around, the protest finished at 11 and I took my bike back home. Of course I was crying... but the thing that I don't know how to fight is this sense of defeat, of being left to ones chances... sense of being alone, lonely in this big world... where loving persons should live together to SHARE this humanity, to joy for the gift of life we received and to join together for a better life. And yet only bad words and hate and indifference and apathy surrounds me.
I believe we can change this attitude, I believe I can live in a better world, I believe another world is possible... I only need the strenght to fight for it.
... but it is this 'fight' word I don't want to use... is this building differences I don't think it's right.

Political elections???

I'm really into the elections in those days and I also read a bunch of foreigners articles and stuff but still can't come out on why so many italians are still willing to vote this warmonger and moron. The italian media of course do not speak the truth (Berlusconi owns 'em) and when I read the foreigners article I wish they could be all translated in a second and be read by italians. Kathy sent me one of the article in this section of The Guardian and then I kept reading all. Two days ago Berlusconi said "I have too much respect for the Italians to think there are that many dickheads around who'd vote against their own interests."... coglioni, he said coglioni...which is yes dickheads but has a more vulgar meaning. So now there's a new people movement exploding through the streets and around: Coglioni, no orgoglioni(something that means proud to be coglioni). It's so much alike the Commedia dell'Arte! But this is too much of a compliment.

Energies!

Tulips and viole
Originally uploaded by margiana.

I have plenty of energies in those days. It may be the Spring with all the blooming and blossoms... it may be the job that gives me some sort of adrenalin... it may just be me who saved energies for so long and now would like to explode. It is like if I don't know how to contain it.
From the 1st of april that I start working I always did the 5.15am shift, meaning that at 10.30am I finished working and had time to do all the rest. Yesterday for example I worked from 5.15 to 11am, went to the post office and then to the bank, came back home and Fabiola was waiting for me getting tanned on my garden bed... I prepared the bag to go to the gym (there's a brand new gym near my house and it's free for the whole week). We went there and spent 1 hour there pushing and pulling and jogging and stuff. Back home, ate something and then went to the Swimming Pool. Came back home at 8.30pm, cooked something and saw the 'political fight' on tv.
Then fell in bed at 10.30. A marathon!
Today I have the late shift 7pm-midnight.. and it is a shift I usually don't like but it's part time and I can do it! I made some gardening and now have to do other millions things.
I should stop some day soon... as for now I keep going as much as possible:-)

New start.

A brand new start! After 6 months I don't remember how to do my job anymore. I had to make some traning (2 days -10 hours) and still did not go through all the 'operative communications'. I need more training but they won't allow me to have it because they need ramp agents under flights. The thing is: I need this training for the safety and punctuality and good service of the flights... but sounds like this is only my need. They do not care.

I have been very happy to hug and kiss and receive welcomes from collegues but my biggest satisfation is receiving hugs and big smiles by the workers of the loading team. They are all foreigners who work underpayed and with horrible contracts so not to have the health care, and yet they are those exposed to a higher rate of accident at work considering they work in holds moving baggages and freight with the heat of the summer and the cold of the winter.
They are the 'last wheel' of the airport gear and yet the most important (an aircraft can leave without a ramp agent but not without a load-team) and I'm proud to know they thought of me in those months.
Of course I'm not feeling comfortable in there. I feel I'm not independent right now (I'll probably need a week more) and I have bad feelings toward the company (how can I:-)) and toward those who did not show any simpathy for 'our' (meaning us who were laid at home) situation. Not a strike has been held, not a single protest. The egoism pervades our society. There's no solidarity. The social situation in Italy is pretty depressing at the moment and we all care for our small and empty pockets but I don't understand why in those situation we don't get together and start to build things from the foundations.
I won't have answers at it, and I hope in a week (the 9th-10th of april we vote for the political elections) there will be some political changes but I hope there'll be a social change too.
Too depressing? :-(

New contract!

Yahoooooo! I just got back from the airport where I signed my 8th short term contract!
6 more months.
After acting icy with the chief of personnel, I went to the office where WE ramp agents are in between flights. I found some collegues and some guys of the team of load and unload of baggages who greeted me happily. :-)
I also changed some shifts so to have more chaces to work at the pool.
I came back and called the vet to know how Monocolo's 'poo-exams' were and... he has parassites but nothing serious... so we're gonna give him drugs and we're going to fix it soon.:-)
Last but not least...the cherry tree is blooming... and it is such a magical thing to me.
I may have some Samurai anchestor.
I have a big smile on my face... and the sun enlights it!

Garden relax and good food!

It's so good to know that Spring is arriving! I love the desire to spend more time outside. The body simply need it, the contact with fresh air, with sun and colours.
Yesterday morning we woke up a little late and I cooked pancakes, strawberry with lemon (first of the season... made a wish!) and croissants.
I love big breakfasts but for our habits it was more a brunch than a breakfast.
We relaxed in the garden and talked about how to fix this and that in the house and of other projects. Then we read and enjoyed our flowers and their smell and the birds singing.
I worked on the computer then read again and around 6pm we started getting hungry.
I decided I wanted to try new veggie things. It turned out a great dinner with felafel with tomato sauce (I did not fried 'em), and 'basket' of mushrooms with yoghurt.
Since the dinner was almost cholesterol free I thought a good mascarpone dessert could compensate the loss... I was totally full but feeling so good. I really love cooking!
Today we went at Giorgio's (Andrea's brother) to celebrate his b-day. I thought it was a 'family lunch' but it turned out a spring-party with lots of so-called-friends to enjoy the beautiful home and 'park'..but above all... the tons of food. It was a buffet all-day-long-all-u-can-eat-lunch full of pizzette and tramezzini and sandwiches and sweets and salts....
I enjoyed a long conversation with Antonella [Paolo's (Andrea's brother) partner] on the swimming pool border facing the sun for over an hour. :-)
After this food-marathon we arrived at home and Arianna was coming back from Rome. So to fill an improbable empty space of our stomach she brought some 'roman pizza' and my beloved supplì (I don't know why they always put some sort of meat or prosciutto in the recipe...but there's no meat in the original recipe)... so I did not eat the supplì yet...but I think I must eat it before tomorrow. Eventually tomorrow it's Monday and it's a good day to start a diet... hopefully longer than a couple of days:-)

April fool?

Chiamata da apt 21.03.2006
Originally uploaded by margiana.

This morning Mauro (ex collegue) and I attended our jobless-support-breakfast in the Sala Borsa, the public library.
We talked about our social frustrations and wishes for the future, and as always it is not a negative event but a very motivating and supporting meeting.
Last night my ex-collegue-friend-unionist Mirko called me with a broken voice to tell me the company finally made an agreement with the unions so that we'll be hired for another short term and part time contract and if the winter schedule is consolidated then... we're gonna get a permanent contract.
So when the personnel manager called me to ask if I wanted to come back, I said yes acting snobbish with the voice but eyes and face were simply happy!
Mauro took this picture of me on the phone with the personnel manager.
Sounds like on April 1st I'll be back to work... mmmmmmmm isn't it April Fool's Day?

Friends visiting... heart rejoicing!

So here I am again. It has been a busy week and today I'll simply relax:-)
My mom's surgery went great and after spending almost a week at her sister's home, yesterday she went back home. I took the train back to Bologna on Thursday so to be here around 7.30pm and at 8 there was a 'unionist assembly' for the 'airport affair':-): Things get complicated but for the end of march I'll defenetly know if there will be chances to get back to my job or quit it forever!
On Friday morning I picked up at the station my friend Nadia who was attending a seminar on her research on alimentary disorders in Modena.
While working in the swimming pool she went shopping and at night we had dinner at home with Arianna and Guido too. Then Alessandro (Nadia's boyfriend and superfriend of mine) arrived from London (where they live) to join us for the week end.
I was very happy to see Alessandro. It was 3 years we didn't meet and it is so refreshing to me to spend some time with him. He and I have been like brother and sister in the years of university and then. We worked together in a fast food and in the summer of who remembers exactly when I was a bartender in his family's hotel in Lorica (Calabria). I know his whole family and I'm friend with his 2 sisters and a brother and love his parents.
So it has been so good for my spirit to share some time with him and his girlfriend!
We had a walk in the city center and on Saturday night we had dinner all together (Ary+Guido+Claudia+Gianfranco+ "the always in the middle" Michele) in a restaurant Andrea and I really don't like:-( I was very happy not to be involved in any serious argument or discussion since the table was very crowded and 'divided' in various topics.... so it was not very stressing.
Yesterday we left Alessandro e Nadia at the airport ( where I usually feel sad just because it is the airport)... and when we left I had a tear of melanchony falling down on my cheek. I wish I could spend more time with those I love to be with!... and yet they are all so far away!
Then once at home I saw there was mail. My lovely guardian angel Francesca sent me my 'fortune 3 dolphins ring' I gave her to repair.

The envelope was a big package with a lot of paper and things inside... but the core was my ring enveloped by a paper with a note on it: I LOVE YOU.

Elections, quarrels and other conflicts

And it's said that you can live your life as you want to!... but it is not possible. Except for personal choices of religion and beliefs, society and its gears are vital to our Being.
In these days we are in the middle of the political campain for the election and I notice this spreads the seeds of rage and of competition in the everyday life.
I can see a lot of people wanting to 'fight' for their party. Seeking for the chance of a fight...verbal or phisical.
The same is for me... As soon as I see Mr. B.'s face in the electoral's posters I sense the vomit and I get ragist when I speak with people (also friends and dad) about everything that involves the electoral programs.
This negative feeling is, of course, helped to stay so by my personal experience and frustrations. So, I shut the tv down (as my friend Kathy told me) and I found some help in that, but still...reading italian and international political and social issue on the web... brings me a mix of tears and rage and depression I shouldn't deal with.
Moreover 2 days ago was a perfect spring day, yesterday was snowing and today it's sunny again, but really windy and cold. And this changing seasons don't help my moods.
I was looking to spend a week in Rome leaving last friday to come back on thursday, but I couldn't find a substitute at the swimming pool for this afternoon and my mom's gonna undergo a surgery tomorrow, so I'll leave tonight by train and will be in Rome after midnight.
Even if I'm jobless... I can't do whatever I want:-)
I sense the week ahead it'll be a little busy... considering also that on Friday my friend Alessandro and his girlfriend are visiting from London for the week end, and will have to undergo all the social activities as... going out for dinner and interact with people (of the opposite political party!)

More flowers

Crocus ciliegio
Originally uploaded by margiana.

.... More flowers bloom in my garden. This crocus just popped out a couple of days ago under the cherry tree.
Everything makes me think of springtime and brings me back to the feelings I usually have in this season but.... this year is different.It's like today: the sun shines but it's cold and the clouds have been white and fluffy on a blue sky until half an hour ago.. now a grey big cloud is darkening everything. So this is my mood... changing and changing and changing all over again and again. A multitude of colours pass through my days with no nuances...only pure colours.. but still I can't see the whole picture. Hope to see it soon.

That's enough!

It's true... I need money, but I can't go on like this.
Today I'm really pissed off. (sorry).
I went to the stinky job (I'm going there only 3 days a week for 5 hours each time) and during the 10 minutes break I talked to 'Desperate-Collegue' and he told me that today was his last day. I congratulated 'cause maybe he found something better but NO! NO! He did not found another job... he has been... let's say.... FIRED! Fired it's not the proper word because the work contracts are tricks. They cannot fire us because the contracts we all signed identify us like free lance, so they only wait our contracts to expire and then they (let's say) let you go! Ops... of course they told Desperate-collegue about this 3 days ago.
So the clue for this last news is that next week are going to be the last 3 days at work at the stinky job and hoops, I'm going to tell them I'll quit right the last day of work.
It won't change anything since another desperate will be there to take my place right the very next day. But at least I won't feel such a slave!
On the other side I'll be poorer... but it doesn't change much... from poor to poorer it's not a great change.

P.S. Still have to talk to Andrea about this but... I'm sure he'll volunteer for extra hours at work:-)

Gotta go to the swimming-pool... I like this job:-)

Springtime?

Primule
Originally uploaded by margiana.

Yesterday was really a spring day. It was brisk, but the sun was shining and everything started looking great. I love those days in which is great to work in the garden...
But then, in the afternoon it all turned grey and winter came again... and today is raining hard.
But I'm not in a too-bad-mood... I can see a sort of light at the end. Hope I'm not dreaming up.

Acceptance

"Acceptance is like knowing there will be ants at the picnic. It is acknowledgment that there are needs and circumstances other than your own. By making this acknoledgment you are empowered to develop a strategy for your protection without stepping on the needs of others. Without the emotional charge of anger, fear, and victimization, it is easy to accept the reality of your life. By accepting what is, you become keenly aware of what isn't. When you know what isn't, you can begin to determine what you must do. Acceptance also requires a great deal of trust, and even more patience. You must trust yourself enough to know that you will make the right choices. You must trust that the universe will provide you with every single thing you need in order to accomplish what you set out to do. You must accept that what you want to do may not be an easy task which means you must be patient with yourself. Be patient when you get angry or afraid. Be patient when you are tempted to lie to yourself and not accept the truth. Be patient when it seems things are not going the right and may never be right again. Accept that what is yours will come to you in the right way at just the right moment. Patiently acknowledge and accept that what is not for you is not for you, no matter what you choose to tell yourself. Ants do not get discouraged when they climb onto the picnic table, only to discover that all your goodies are covered with aluminum foil. They crawl back down and patiently wait around the table legs until you drop your plate." One Day My Soul Just Opened Up - Iyanla Vanzant

Modern slaves

I know a lot of you are not into the italian political situation... but you read a little of what it is happening in Italy through my jobless story... so, just to show you I'm not the only jobless freak I leave you this to read Modern slaves. In the italian version I also posted a comment last night and now there are more than 800.
I'm seriously worried about the elections.
Gotta run to the stinky place and work for 5.30 € per hour with a Co. Co. Pro contract.

It's raining!

Not in a good mood.
-It is raining.
-I received the salary at the stinky job and it is almost sufficient only to buy a parfume for the s
Stinky Guy.
-I got home and found an IKEA letter in the box... telling me that I am not what they're looking for.
-I need to iron a mountain of clothes....

The only good thing for today is that the first crocus of the season is born!

Munich

Last Saturday we enjoyed a little relaxation. I prepared the garden for the springtime works while Andrea was repairing some of the million things that still have to be fixed in our small nest. In the afternoon we went to a café for a cappuccino and shared some quality time together.. then we decided that it is really too long we don't have dinner in a restaurant .. so we went to a pizzeria. We also bought tickets for Munich the last Spielger's movie.
It must be this period of my life that brings me tears so often but I was pretty much shaked by the movie. I knew what the movie was going to be about and the whole story.
It's not the plot or the settings that touched me but the human aspect of all this.
I still am not able to understand that kind of hate between races and religions. Not at this extreme. But all it has happened in the last 40-something years, and that is happening now and will probably happen for more years to come, brings me there. It is not only possible to hate because of races and religions but it is basic for the survival of the national identity and for the concept of one's coutry.
I may not be cultural and historically prepared to analyse those issues but the thing that brings me down is that nothing has changed in the fight between Palestinian and Jews. Looks like there is no hope.
I once read an interesting book about it The Best of Enemies , that I suggest to anyone interested in the topic. At the end there was a trace of hope for peace.
That was before the Second Intifada.